Arizona

“THE HISTORY OF ARIZONA.
How it was made, And who made it.

The Devil was given permission one day, To select him a land for his own special sway; So he hunted around for a month or more And fussed and fumed and terribly swore, But at last was delighted a country to view Where the prickly pear and the mesquite grew. With a survey brief, without further excuse He took his stand on the banks of the Santa Cruz.

He saw there were some improvements to make, For he felt his own reputation at stake; An idea struck him and he swore by his horns To make a complete vegetation of thorns; He studded the land with the prickly pear And scattered the cactus everywhere, The Spanish dngger, sharp pointed and tall And last—the choya—the worst of all.

He imported the Apaches direct from hell, And the ranks of his sweet-scented train to swell, A legion of skunks, whose loud, loud smell Perfumed the country he loved so well.
And then for his life, he could not see why The river should carry more water supply, And he swore if he gave it another drop You might take his head and horns for a mop.
He filled the river with sand till it was almost dry, And poisoned the land with alkali, And promised himself on its slimy brink The control of all who from it should drink.

 He saw there was one more improvement to make, He imported the scorpion, tarantula and rattlesnake, That all who might come to this country to dwell, Would be sure to think it was almost hell.
He fixed the heat at one hundred and seven And banished forever the moisture from heaven, But remembered as he heard his furnace roar, That the heat might reach five hundred or more, And after he fixed things so thorny and well, He said, ‘I’ll be d-d if this don’t beat hell’; Then he flopped his wings and away he flew And vanished from earth in a blaze of blue.

And now, no doubt, in some corner of hell He gloats over the work he has done so well, And vows that Arizona cannot be beat, For scorpions, tarantulas, snakes and heat.
For with his own realm it compares so well He feels assured it surpasses hell.”

(bron)